Becoming Family
by llanoestacado
Summary: Healing family relationships. My take on season 6 told through the eyes of different characters on the show, because a single POV can hide important things. JJ centric, though there will definitely be lots of Sophie in there as well.
1. Something Old

A/N Here is my take on S6. I think (and hope) it is a bit different from most of what is out there. Each chapter will be written from the POV of a different character. JJ centric, though there will definitely be lots of Sophie in there as well (here's hoping I can pull it off). While I plan on this generally being dramatic, I will warn that I do enjoy fluff and smut. Smut I'll warn you about. Fluff may creep up on you.

I decided that I wouldn't try to write the scene immediately following the finale, because there are already so many out there. So I am bouncing my story off my favorite of those fics. Saltydog88 and Amiblue, who write collectively as Softydog88 and/or Softyblue, kindly agreed that I could point to their fic, _What Comes After What_ as a proposal follow-up scene. I highly recommend you read it http/ you decide not to read it, you should know that L/L are engaged. But that tidbit of knowledge does no justice to the storytelling of Saltydog88 and Amiblue.

Big thanks to my awesome betas! **Kerri** and **Janet** helped me with my Christopher characterization, and **Conny** and **Orbit** with the overall story arc and making sure I'm understandable (no easy task!).

**Christopher**

_One week since D-day_

I am looking in the window of the diner. Luke is standing at the counter sorting something. I've gone by Lorelai's house, but she isn't there.

I have to go in and talk to Luke. He is the only chance I have to bridge the gap. Lorelai won't talk to me without some priming. I've been calling her since I got Rory's email last Saturday, but she won't respond.

We have to figure out what to do about Rory as a team. But we can't do that unless she talks to me. We have a better chance of making a difference if we approach Rory together.

So I sit here looking in the window of the diner. Because I think that Luke will understand. And he'll help. If he loves Rory and Lorelai he'll help.

And I know he loves them. He would be long gone if he didn't.

The sign on the door of the diner reads "closed." I'm certain that showing up after closing isn't really going to make the situation any more uncomfortable than if it was earlier.

I walk up to the door hoping it isn't locked. I figure that if I can get in the door and start talking, then I have a chance he'll listen.

Fate has decided to help me. I open the door slowly. Luke is still standing at the counter sorting stacks of paper, and when the bell rings, he looks up.

He looks at me for a minute, and I can see the anger building in his face.

"We're closed," he says coldly, returning to his sorting.

"Luke," I begin. "Luke, I was hoping I could talk to you about Rory."

His head snaps up. "No," he growls.

I just stand there for a minute, stunned by what he has said. He can't do this.

God damn it. He doesn't understand the gravity of the situation.

"Look, I'm sorry about the way I behaved at the vow renewal. I never should have said those things. I never should have treated you that way, treated Lorelai that way."

"Leave, Christopher." Luke says, glaring at me.

"Luke, I don't think you understand." I say evenly. Before he has a chance to respond I continue. "_Rory_ has suddenly decided that she no longer wants to pursue her life's goals and dreams. And her grandparents have decided that, to some extent which is unclear to me, they are going to indulge this crisis of faith."

"You haven't told me anything I don't know already." Luke responds.

"We have to get her back on track!" I exclaim.

"Still, nothing new." He shrugs.

At this point, I am becoming very agitated. "Luke, Lorelai and I need to work together on this." I am practically yelling at this point. "We can't let this happen. It was her dream! It _is_ her dream!"

I can see the frustration and anger in Luke's face. It mirrors my own. "What do you want?"

"I need to talk to Lorelai. We need to work together to figure out what to do about Rory." I sigh.

"Then why are you here, talking to me?" he asks, rubbing his forehead.

"Because you know as well as I do that she won't talk to me," I say firmly. "I've been calling her for almost a week, and she won't respond to me at all."

"That's not my problem," Luke hisses. "And it isn't my fault."

"Look, I know I screwed up. It is my fault Lorelai won't talk to me, and I know that no one is to blame but me. And I know you would probably like to kill me, or at least cause me serious bodily harm at the moment. But this is about Rory, Luke. Doesn't that count for anything?"

"Why now?" Luke asks. "Why after all these years are you suddenly interested?"

"Suddenly? You've got to be joking. Do you know what it is like to be miles and miles away from your child and not have any real connection? To know that your daughter doesn't really need you, because her mother is so strong that she can do anything?" I take a deep breath, trying to regain focus. "She's my daughter, Luke. I want what is best for her. I've always wanted what is best for her. Please don't make me defend everything I've ever done and/or not done to get your help. It's pointless."

He pauses, then picks up a rag and starts to wipe the counter. After an excruciatingly long time, he looks up at me and says "Be here tomorrow night around this same time. I'll make sure she's here. But neither of us will force her to listen to you. And if you're lying to me, you'll regret it."

I nod, turning and walking out the door. I guess that went about as well as I could have expected.

­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­------------------

The next night I arrive at the diner about the same time. I look in the window, and Lorelai is sitting with her back to me, sipping coffee. Luke is wiping down the counter.

The sign has already been flipped to read "closed," but I expect the door will be unlocked. I open the door slowly, and both Luke and Lorelai look up as the bell jingles. Luke takes a deep breath, and a look of panic crosses Lorelai's face.

"Christopher," she breathes. "What the hell are you doing here?" She looks in Luke's direction. "Luke, I swear, I don't know why he's here." The panic in her voice matches her face.

Luke walks closer to her, reaching over the counter to take her hand. He leans down so his eyes are level with hers and places his other hand on her shoulder. "Relax, Lorelai. He's here to talk about Rory. You can tell him to go to hell if you want, or you can listen to him. It's up to you."

"What?" Lorelai pulls her hand away from Luke.

I decide it is time to jump in.

"Lor, I talked to Luke last night. You weren't returning my calls, so I went by your house. When you weren't there, I came here. And we have to talk, because we have to do something about Rory." I finish quickly, hoping she'll listen to the words.

"Why should I listen to you?" she asks, her voice flat.

"Because, Lor, it's not about me. It's not about you. It's not about Luke. It's about _Rory_." I breathe. "Lor, I am sorry about before."

She sits, absorbing the words, looking for a response to what I've said. Several times, she starts to open her mouth to say something, but stops herself.

She gives Luke a pleading look, fear clear in her eyes, then turns to face me. I want so badly to walk over and take that fear away. But I have to come to terms with the fact that it isn't my place any more.

Luke is standing behind the counter, watching her closely. He hasn't moved since she pulled her hand away from him. She reaches over and takes his hand in hers, saying, "I hope you have a good plan, because we haven't come up with anything so far."

As she takes his hand, I notice something on her finger that glints in the light. She's wearing a ring. An engagement ring. My heart breaks again, but I know this isn't the time or the place.

"Do we know what caused all this?" I ask, hoping for more information. "All I know is Rory sent me an email saying she was taking an 'indefinite break' from school, because she wasn't sure what she wanted to do with her life, and that she was living with your parents. Something tells me there is more to the story than that."

She hesitates for a moment, tapping her coffee cup with her free hand. Sighing, she starts to tell the story. "Well, it all started when she went to dinner at her boyfriend Logan's house. And they basically told her she was trash…"

After about 30 minutes, I'm caught up on the story; from Mitchum Huntzberger to Rory stealing the boat and going to jail, to Lorelai's parents stabbing her in the back once more after Rory decided to drop out of Yale.

Lorelai finishes, telling me, "Chris, I don't like these Huntzberger people. I don't like them at all. It seems like nothing but bad things have come from Rory and Logan together."

Luke hasn't said a word through the entire story. At some point, he started stroking Lorelai's hand to soothe her. I feel that familiar twinge but immediately suppress it and continue to concentrate on the matter at hand.

"Lor, we'll come up with a plan. Take it from the guy who took 16 years to 'find himself.' We can't let her wander like that. We have to make her see her dreams again."

"She's lost her confidence," she says, and I can see the anguish in her face that this situation has caused. "She's angry at anyone who refuses to stop believing in her. We don't know what to do. I'm still talking to her, though it is not pleasant. But we're at a loss."

It takes me a moment to realize that she is talking about her and Luke when she says 'we.' It takes me another moment to realize how quickly she is accepting help. Something is very different.

"We'll come up with something. Can I call you? I want to talk to my mother and see if I can find out anything about these people that might be helpful."

"Fine, call us. You've got the number." She says. "Chris, this doesn't mean…"

"I know." I respond before she has a chance to get the words out.

She starts to whisper "What you did…"

I break in again. "I know. But right now Rory's future is more important."

"Bye, Chris."

"Bye, Lor. Bye Luke." I pause. "Thanks."

When I get in my car, I look in the window of the diner one last time. The scene is almost the same as before I got there. Luke is putting chairs on tables, and Lorelai is sipping her coffee.


	2. Something New

**  
**

**Luke  
**

The bell above the door jingles as he leaves.

She sits at the counter sipping her coffee. The silence betrays her anger, her confusion. Rushing her to talk can only be counterproductive.

So I go about my normal tasks. I place the chairs on top of the tables in the diner. I finish wiping down all the surfaces in the diner. The monotony of the motions soothes me into a rhythm. For a moment I can forget the weight of the evening.

Lorelai sighs loudly, signaling she's ready to talk. I walk over to the counter and sit on the stool beside her.

"Did I push too far?" I ask evenly.

"I don't know," she breathes heavily, staring at the wall. The weight of her thoughts has suddenly become very clear in her face.

"I just thought…." I begin. "I just thought that since we hadn't been able to figure anything out, and he came to us…." I trail off. But I can't find the right words.

"It's for Rory, Lorelai. And if there's a chance it will help Rory, we have to consider it."

"I know Luke." She whispers as she turns to face me. I can see the pain written in her face. "Can we talk about this tomorrow?" she pleads. "I'm just so tired."

I nod. I walk over to turn the diner lights off, then take her hand and lead her up the stairs.

We undress and climb into bed in silence. She curls herself into my chest as I wrap my arms around her. If only I could keep the pain away from her this way.

Any sleep tonight will be restless.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

At some point during the night, I wake up to Lorelai clutching me tightly. I whisper her name quietly, but it is clear she is asleep.

I hold her tighter and hope that we can find our way past this. Sighing with the weight of realization, I hope that she and Rory can find their way past this

xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

I wake up early the next morning. Early even by my own standards. I decide to make the best of it. I go down to the diner and get everything set up and ready for the morning. Then I call Caesar and ask him to come in early.

Once Caesar has arrived, I tell him John will be in before the breakfast rush, and I make a quick omelet to take up to Lorelai for breakfast, along with a cup of coffee.

By this point it is only about 6:00 AM, but I know she won't be sleeping, so I decide we may as well talk now.

As I open the door to the apartment, I can already hear her stirring in the bed. I take the coffee and the food over and place it on the nightstand. She looks up at me and smiles weakly.

"You're an angel," she says, beginning to sit up in the bed. She takes the coffee from the nightstand and breathes deeply over the cup. She sips it quietly for a moment, and then looks at me, confused. "You're staying while I have breakfast?"

"I called Caesar in early," I answer, sitting on the edge of the bed. "We should probably talk about some things."

Lorelai looks at me, letting out a sigh and nodding. "Luke, do you remember when I bought your father's boat?"

"Yes," I reply. "Why?"

"Do you remember how angry you were when you first found out about it?"

"Yes," I can't quite figure out what direction she is going in, so I just try to follow. At the moment, I'm not doing a very good job.

She continues, "Then, after you thought about it for a while, you realized that maybe I did the right thing after all?" Even though she is making a statement, she ends it as a question.

I think I am finally catching up with her "I remember," I nod.

"I think we need to do a better job of talking to each other." She says, lowering her eyes.

And I'm lost again. But it doesn't seem like she has noticed. She's shifted directions on me, and I am not sure about the topic of conversation.

She continues, "Luke, why didn't you tell me Christopher came by before?"

"I…" I hesitate, but decide there is only one acceptable route. "Honestly?" I question.

"No, Luke, lie to me," she mutters, sarcasm dripping from her voice.

"Because I knew you would be angry he came. And I also knew that if it was about Rory you'd give him a chance anyway. Just like you should." I spit the words out quickly, afraid that if I linger on them I'll stammer.

She lifts her head up, looking me in the eyes. "And you were right. Just like I was right about the boat."

Her eyes are shining. Her lip begins to tremble.

I'm starting to think there is more to this conversation than meets the eye. I take her face in my hand, stroking my thumb across her cheek.

"What?" I ask.

"Luke, you want to have a family with me, don't you?" She says it calmly, evenly. It is more of a statement than a question.

"Yes, Lorelai. We already discussed that, didn't we?"

"No, Luke. We mentioned it. We didn't discuss it." She closes her eyes tightly, rubbing her temples. "Luke, what would you say if I told you I thought I was pregnant?"

Pregnant? The word echoes in my head. A child. A baby. My baby. Our baby.

"Uh…" I can't seem to form the words. I point to myself.

"I…" Then I point to Lorelai.

"You…" I point to myself again and then back to her.

"We…" I sound like a moron. I can't seem to get anything beyond a single syllable out of my mouth.

Lorelai snaps me out of my stupor by touching my face. "Luke, I'm not pregnant," she says, stroking my cheek.

I'm no longer in a stupor, but I am still dumbfounded. I am incredibly confused. I look at her and open my mouth to say something, but as soon as I try to speak, I've forgotten what I am going to say.

"I thought I might be," she says, fear in her eyes. "After the party in New York. We came back here and things got a little…." She trails off. "A little crazy. And for a few days, I was really nervous, and I kept having these really strange cravings, and I thought I might be…" She takes a deep breath, "but I'm not."

"Why didn't you tell me?" I whisper. My chest feels tight. I can't figure out why, but I feel afraid. Afraid I may have lost something. Though I am not at all certain what I may have lost. Especially when there was nothing to begin with.

"Because I thought it was my responsibility. I thought it was my own stupid mistake." She breathes.

"Lorelai, stop," I sigh in frustration. "It isn't about you, or about me. It's about us. Together."


	3. Something Borrowed

A/N Have I mentioned that I love my betas? **Orbit** and **Conny** rock my world. And thanks to** lilienprinzessin **for helping me with Emily. Thanks to everyone for the wonderful reviews. They make me smile.

Oh, and in case you missed it, the night of the finale is D-day

_Did we expect these things to change  
By waking up and suddenly there they are  
And all I need's a starting place  
And nothing ever seemed so hard..._  
Toad the Wet Sprocket – Whatever I Fear

**Lorelai  
**

_"Lorelai, stop," Luke said, sighing in frustration. "It isn't about you, or about me. It's about us. Together."_

"Really?" I ask, becoming frustrated myself. "Then why the hell did you buy a house without consulting me?"

"You didn't tell me about the offer from Mike Armstrong," he shoots back.

I sigh loudly and close my eyes. Maybe when I open them everything will suddenly be clear. I doubt it, but here's hoping.

"Luke, we have a serious problem," I say, as fear starts to grip me. "And I don't think we should start planning our future until we solve it."

Luke is staring at his hands silently.

"You're right, you know," I tell him, reaching over and touching his shoulder.

"About what?" he asks.

"It isn't about you, or about me. It's about us. Together." I sigh, pausing for a moment. "And I have a hell of a long way to go in this relationship. I have to learn to give some things over to you. But Luke, you have to give some things over to me as well."

I touch his cheek as he looks up and catches my eyes. There is fear peeking from behind his soulful blue eyes.

Strangely enough, seeing his fear brings me a sense of calm. We really are in the same place.

"Luke, don't be afraid. We'll figure it out. Because it is about i us /i ."

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

_The morning after D-day_

I wake up with the most indescribable mix of emotions I've ever felt in my life. I am elated, but immensely sad at the same time. I take a deep breath, and my senses are filled with that wonderful, calming smell. Luke.

I take another deep breath. I open my eyes, and Luke is walking toward me with a cup of coffee one hand and a donut in the other.

"Hi," he says, grinning at me. He walks over to the edge of the bed and sits down, putting the coffee and the donut on the nightstand.

"Hi," I respond, grinning back. I reach down and start playing with the ring on my finger. I hold up my hand, wiggling my fingers and pointing the ring at him. "Look what I got!" I exclaim, almost giddy.

"I saw that," he says, playing along. "Quite fancy, huh?"

"It's perfect," I sigh. "I can't wait to tell…" Shit. There it is. The weight of the world falling down on me.

Luke notices the change and reaches over to take my hand in his. "We'll figure something out, don't worry. It will be okay."

Shit, shit, shit. Shit.

"I have to tell her, Luke. And I can't wait. The whole town already knows. If it gets to her any other way, she'll never forgive me."

"So what are you going to do?" he asks, stroking my hair.

"I'm just going to go tell her. No matter how bad it is, it can only be worse if I wait or don't do it."

I get out of bed and walk over to the closet, pulling out one of the outfits I keep at Luke's.

Luke walks over and kisses me quickly.

"You know I love you and I'm here for you," he says, leaning his forehead against mine. "Just tell me if I can do anything."

My heart swells. "I will," I whisper. "I love you too," I say, stroking his cheek.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As I drive to Hartford, I try to decide what the best strategy is for telling Rory. After agonizing a while, I decide that while I am there, I may as well tell my parents, too. Numb is numb.

I take out my phone and dial my parents' number.

"Hello," I hear my mother's voice on the line.

"Hi, Mom" I say, trying to sound normal.

"Lorelai?" she exclaims.

"Mom, I'm sure you're surprised to hear from me, but before you say anything let me lay this out for you." I take a deep breath and continue before she can say anything. "I am on my way to your house. When I get there, I am going straight to the pool house to talk to Rory. Then, if you and Dad have time, I would like to come into the house and talk to you."

Silence.

"Mom?"

"That's fine, Lorelai." She says quickly, "We'll see you in a bit."

I'm taken aback. That was too easy.

"Bye, Mom," I utter as I hang up the phone. Something isn't right. But I don't have time to try and figure it out now.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Rory is sitting and reading when I knock on the door of the pool house. She looks surprised when she notices me. What a stupid observation. Of course she is surprised.

She opens the door and says, in her Bambi voice no less, "Hi Mom."

"Hey kid. Can I come in?" I try to sound cheery.

"Uh, sure," she says, stepping aside. I can tell that I've thrown her off balance by showing up here. She's confused. She doesn't know what to expect. And I can tell by her face she's not exactly thrilled to see me.

We stand there looking at each other awkwardly for a few moments.

And I'm off "Okay, so I have something to tell you. Something big. And I don't want you to hear it anywhere else. So, for just a few minutes, can the two of us forget about recent events for a while?"

"Okay," she says, wide-eyed. I can tell she doesn't know what is coming next.

I take my hand and hold it in front of her face, wiggling my fingers.

"NO!" she screams.

"YES!" I scream back.

"NO!" she screams again.

"YES!" I scream again. "Okay, this is getting old."

"What happened? Who proposed? Wait, there's a ring, he must have proposed!" She grabs my hand and drags me over to the couch. "Tell me everything."

"Well, it went a bit differently than you might think. I was upset last night, and I went to see Luke. And he started laying out all these plans for how he was going to "fix" everything. And it clicked. It's _Luke_," I draw out his name for emphasis. "So I asked him to marry me."

"What?" she asks, dumbfounded.

"Funny, that's exactly what he said!" I giggle. "Except, you know – more manly. So after he said 'What?' in that manly way of his…" And I proceed to tell her the rest of the story.

After I've put it all out there, Rory whispers, "Wow. Mom, that's….wow. You and Luke. Getting married!" She stands up, pacing back and forth, waving her hands wildly. "When? What are you doing about the houses? A family? Does that mean what I think it does?"

"Slow down, Rory. We haven't decided when yet. And we're not sure about the houses. And I'm not sure if a family means what you think it does. Luke and I still have a lot to discuss." My heart aches as I talk about family.

"Look, Rory, I don't want you to think that this has suddenly made everything okay between us." I inform her, staring at the floor. "I just – I had to tell you. And I couldn't wait. Because no matter what else has happened, you're still my best friend." My voice wavers as I say the last words, looking up at her.

When I do, I see those beautiful blue eyes are staring at me. And she nods, slowly. She comes over and hugs me tightly.

"I think it's incredible, Mom. You and Luke. He's just….he's i your /i Luke. I've never seen anyone make you so happy." Rory smiles, taking a deep breath.

Her shift in tone is palpable, "Mom, I love you. And I don't want to disappoint you. I just feel like this is something I have to do."

I try to match her tone "Hon, I think you're making the wrong choice. And I told you that already." I close my eyes for a minute. "Just promise me that you won't run from me. You won't hide from me. Don't shut me out altogether," I plead. "Nothing good can come of that." I add quickly, standing up and heading for the door.

She nods. We both feel the tension returning and decide not to prolong the goodbye. I offer a weak wave, and she returns the same. At least we were able to forget for a moment.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

As I leave the pool house, I decide it will probably be easiest to walk around to the front of the house and knock on the front door to see my parents.

When I get to the door, I reach up and ring the bell quickly. I'm afraid that if I hesitate, I will lose my nerve. The maid opens the door, and tells me my parents are waiting for me in the living room.

As I walk in, my mother is standing behind my father, who is sitting on the couch. They look like they belong in a portrait.

"Mom, Dad, thank you for seeing me." I say weakly. Gathering my courage, I continue, "There is something important happening in my life. Something big. And Luke and I think that you should be informed about it as soon as possible."

My father nods slowly, indicating that I should continue. I can't help but notice that he is absolutely silent, almost grim as he listens to me. My mother is standing behind him, frozen. She is stone-faced.

"Luke and I are engaged. We're going to get married," I announce. "We haven't set a date or made any decisions yet, but we thought that you should know early in the process."

Both Mom and Dad are slow to respond. "Well, that's wonderful, Lorelai," my father finally manages to expel with not quite enough false enthusiasm.

"Send Luke our congratulations," my mother says flatly. "You'll tell us if there is anything we can do to help?"

"I'm sure we can manage, Mom, but thank you," I reply. I can't determine what my mother is thinking, and she's so measured in her response that it is making me very nervous.

After an awkward silence, I begin to turn in the direction of the front door, preparing myself to leave. I take a deep breath and spew a few last words before I lose courage. "Mom, Dad. I'm really hurt by what you did. I won't pretend I'm not. And I'm not sure I'll ever really be able to get past this one. But I'm finished with the lies, and the hiding. It's time to grow up."

My father nods silently, staring off into space. My mother doesn't budge – she is still staring at me blankly. Her face gives no indication as to what she is thinking.

I turn slowly and walk toward the front door. Just as I reach it, I hear footsteps behind me.

I turn to see who it is, and my mother reaches out and touches my forearm lightly. "Lorelai," she says slowly. "Do you love him?"

With tears welling up in my eyes, I nod slowly. "More than I ever thought possible," I manage to choke out.

She steps away from me and offers a single nod. I open the door as I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself for the drive home.

xxxxxxxxxxxxx

_Four days since D-Day_

I reach into the mailbox to see what the day has brought, and there is a small package with my mother's writing on it. Curious, I tear open the envelope before I am even back in the house.

As I open the package, a small lace handkerchief, folded delicately, falls into my hand, along with a small piece of note paper.

_Lorelai,_

_On her wedding day, my mother borrowed this handkerchief from my grandmother. On my wedding day, I borrowed this handkerchief from my mother._

_I realize you do not have the details for your wedding planned yet, but I wanted to ensure that whatever your plans, you would be able to borrow this handkerchief for your wedding day._

_Love,_

_Mom_

Fifteen minutes later, when Luke comes by to drop off my dinner, I am still sitting on the couch crying.


	4. Something Blue

A/N Special thanks to my betas! Thanks to **Orbit** and **Conny** for awesome comments/suggestions/rewrites and big thanks to **Excentrik Chick** for Rory/Logan characterization help!

Big cookie if you can tell me the two books I referenced!

_What did I expect?_

_To come here and find anyone?_

_Find open arms to greet me_

_And friends to feed me_

_I sicken myself so much_

_And you eat my kind for breakfast_

Toad the Wet Sprocket – Whatever I Fear

**Rory**

_The morning after D-day_

I wave weakly as my mother leaves the pool house. Mom and Luke, engaged. I smile a little in spite of myself. They are perfect together. Just perfect.

I sigh, and my mother's words echo in my head:

_"Just promise me that you won't run from me. You won't hide from me. Don't shut me out altogether. Nothing good can come of that."_

She's one to talk. But then, I guess that means she would know.

I sit on the couch and try to figure out what I'm going to do for the day. My unpacking is mostly finished – when all you really bring along is reading material, there isn't much to do.

I should call Logan. Or Lane. Someone. But I don't feel like talking to anyone today. I just need a bit of time to think – some time to get away from reality.

I look over on the desk and see my laptop staring at me. I decide to check my email quickly. I guess some form of interaction is probably good for me.

Nothing really new, except a nice, sanitary email from Dad. Since the incident, we've been emailing back and forth, though we never really say anything. He tells me about Gigi, I tell him about school, and we stay away from any real topics.

Well, I guess he will find out sooner or later. May as well make it sooner than later.

_Dad,_

_Hope all is well with you and Gigi. Not much new here._

_I've decided to take a break from school. I'm not sure when I will go back. I've recently realized I'm not sure what I should do with my life. Grandma and Grandpa are helping me find a job for the summer and letting me live in the pool house._

_Just wanted to make sure you're apprised of the situation._

_Love,_

_Rory_

I stare at it for a moment before I hit the send button. Not very articulate, maybe even a bit cruel; but I guess it will do.

I sigh and look around, searching for a way to occupy myself. I look up and see a book with a yellow and black dust jacket peeking out from one of the last boxes. Losing myself in a book is definitely preferable to contemplating my lack of direction.

Committing absurdities with Ignatius J. Reilly sounds like a good way to spend the day. I really have to try a Lucky Dog when I finally make it to New Orleans….

--------------------

A few hours later, about the time that Ignatius is actually starting to enjoy Lucky Dogs himself, my phone rings. I debate for a moment whether or not I should pick it up, but I finally acquiesce and answer.

I look at the caller ID, and it the number is for a sandwich shop. Hmph.

I answer and hear Lane screaming at me "OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD! I just heard! How fantastic is that!"

"What are you talking about? And where are you calling me from?" I ask, confused.

"I'm in the van – we're driving to our first 'sponsor' house. And I'm calling you on Gil's cell phone. Thank God for free weekend minutes. And I'm talking about your Mom and Luke!"

"Yeah," I respond, trying to sound enthusiastic. "It is really awesome, isn't it?"

"It's perfect is what it is," Lane responds. "They are perfect. It's about damn time."

"They are perfect, aren't they?" I respond, becoming wistful in spite of myself, trailing off into silence.

"Rory, are you okay?" Lane asks

"Fine, I'm fine," I respond quickly. "Lane, I've got to go. It's time for me to go have tea with my grandmother. Things will get ugly if I am late."

"With your grandmother?" she asks, confused.

"Look, I've got to go. I'll explain it to you later, okay? Call me after your first gig. Bye," I say the words quickly, without allowing her to time to respond, and hang up as soon as I've said goodbye. I know I'll have to tell Lane the story at some point, but I just can't muster up the energy to talk about it today.

Suddenly, returning to the absurdities of Ignatius J. Reilly isn't as inviting.

My perfect mother with her perfect boyfriend. Fiancé now, I guess.

Perfect.

------------------

_Two days since D-Day. Dinner_

My grandfather saying my name quickly shakes me from the daze I am in.

"Rory," he repeats, irritation in his voice.

"Yes, Grandpa?" I answer.

"Tomorrow I will spend some time making calls at the office. I am sure by the end of the day I will be able to find a suitable position for you. We should plan for you to start Tuesday, don't you think?" he asks, softening a bit.

"Sure, Grandpa. Tuesday sounds fine."

"And not to worry, Rory, I will make sure that time off to take care of that unfortunate incident is discussed before you start."

I nod. It is amazing how quickly we make sure not to discuss things directly in this family. And Grandma has barely said a word through the entire meal.

"Grandma, Grandpa, may I be excused?" I ask quietly. My head is starting to pound.

They both nod silently and I get up and go out to the pool house. I have to find something to distract me. Ignatius J. Reilly has already driven off into the sunset, so I decide to tackle something else. Maybe something with a bit more angst. I'll overload my senses with emotion until I feel so much I shut down. Steinbeck is always good for that. I'll read about failed lettuce shipments and failed relationships with broken-hearted parents.

Catharsis.

-------------------

_Three days since D-Day, midday_

"Hey Ace," Logan says as I open the door to the pool house.

"Hey Logan," I respond hesitantly. "What are you doing here?"

"Why am I here? Maybe you didn't notice the four voicemails I've left you since Thursday night? Classes ended a week ago and already your brain is taking a vacation?" he says, pinning me down with his eyes.

"I just thought I'd join you on the beach," I respond, trying to lighten the mood.

It doesn't work.

"So, are you going to update me and tell me what's going on?" he asks, pulling me close to him by my elbows.

I hesitate, but decide I can't avoid telling him what is happening. "Well, I've decided that I'm not going back to school in the fall."

"What? That's crazy. Why not?" he asks, taking my face in his hands and forcing me to look at him.

"I just don't really think I'm cut out for journalism," I answer with a shaky voice. Damn it. I've been strong so far. The minute he shows up I turn into a blubbering idiot. Well, maybe not blubbering, but an idiot.

"Rory," he says, his voice serious. "You know better than that. This is about what my father said, isn't it?"

"No," I tell him, without conviction. "I mean - yes. If I can't do it Logan, then there's no point preparing for it, is there?"

"But you _can_ do it," he says, staring through me with those piercing brown eyes. "Don't doubt yourself."

"Since when did you become a cheerleader?" I ask, trying to chide him away from the seriousness.

"Since I know my father is an ass and not terribly concerned with the truth," he says, flashing that incredible grin. He takes my hand and pulls me over to the couch. "Why don't you update me about what's been going on with you?"

I spend the next 20 minutes telling him about my decision. While I do tell him about my mother's disapproval and coming to my grandparents, I leave out the part about my meltdown in front of my grandfather. He doesn't really need to know about that. And he sits and listens patiently while I talk.

"Logan, my whole life, I've focused on becoming a journalist. It is the only thing I ever worked for. What if I spent so much time convincing myself that's what I wanted I lost perspective on everything else?" I finish.

"I don't know," he responds, flashing me a serious smile, his eyes giving away his concern. "Okay, Ace, I'm only going to say this once. I don't think you should drop out of school. I'll be here either way, but I don't think you should."

"Why not?" I ask, staring at my hands.

"Because you fit there. I once saw you sniffing a book in one of the libraries on campus. You can't honestly tell me you think you belong somewhere else, can you?"

"Logan, I'm just not sure about anything right now," I sigh, taking a deep breath. "I just need some time, some distance from it all so I can think."

"Fine, but for now, promise me you won't withdraw from the classes you enrolled in for the fall," he says, rubbing my back lightly.

"How do you know I signed up for classes in the fall already?" I question.

"Because you made me come with you to the bookstore on campus the day the fall course schedule came out, and you spent days poring over the classes. Then you told me you were going to go into online registration at midnight on the first date you were able, so you would get the best possible pick of classes," he smiles. "And you did all of this weeks ago."

I nod silently and put my head on his shoulder. He seems to understand what I need and he wraps his arm around my shoulder, holding me silently for a moment.

"Rory," he says quietly. "Why was your grandmother so cold to me when she answered the door and saw me?" He sounds worried.

"Well, probably because I stole a boat with you," I say, stating the obvious.

"Okay…maybe. But it seemed like something more."


	5. A Silver Sixpence in her Shoe

Unfortunately no one got the books! The first was _A Confederacy of Dunces_, and the description probably sounded familiar because I lifted it from Rory's Graduation Speech. The second was _East of Eden_, IMO Steinbeck's greatest work!

Thanks to my betas **Conny, Orbit, and Excentrik Chick**! For those of you waiting for more L/L (Orbit ;), Emily will be chapter 6, then chapter 7 will be Lorelai.

And thanks to everyone for the reviews. They make my day.

* * *

**Logan**

_One day before D-day_

"Hey Ace, it's me. Just thought I'd see what you wanted to do this weekend. I thought we could make some plans to take our minds off all the stuff with the boat. Call me back when you get a chance."

--------------------

_D-Day_

"Hey Ace, it's me…again. I never got a call back from you yesterday about this weekend. Call me this afternoon, and maybe we can meet up after you have dinner at your grandparents."

----------------------

_One day after D-day_

"Uh, Ace. What's going on? This is the third message I've left you in as many days. I'm starting to think you're blowing me off. Call me."

-----------------------

_Two days after D-day_

"Rory, what's going on? Leaving me a message at 6:00 in the morning telling me you're staying at your grandparents for the summer? Call me. We need to talk. Stop blowing me off."

-----------------------

_Three days since D-day_

Four messages. Four fucking messages. And I get one returned call at 6:00 in the morning. She is completely blowing me off.

This is just not going to work. I knew there was a reason I didn't like relationships.

My cell phone rings, and I look over in the passenger seat of my car to see who it is. The caller ID flashes Finn, and I decide that I'm not in the mood to talk to him right now.

Why is she blowing me off? This isn't like her. My stupid father. Bastard.

I shake my head as I pull into the Gilmore's driveway. At least I know where she is now. If I just show up, she'll have to talk to me.

I ring the bell and the maid answers the door. It's a different maid than the night of the disastrous dinner. I hope she wasn't fired because of me…

"Yes?" she asks.

"I'm looking for Miss Gilmore. Is she in?" I ask, hoping she is actually here.

Suddenly, I hear a voice in the background "Who is it, Helena?"

The maid, Helena apparently, steps back and says, "This young man is looking for Miss Gilmore, Mrs. Gilmore."

As soon as I see Emily, her eyes narrow as she looks at me suspiciously. "Logan, Rory is staying in the pool house. Is she expecting you?"

"Hello Emily," I say, flashing my best smile. "How are you? Actually, my visit to Rory today is a bit of a surprise – I've had some trouble getting in touch with her the last few days."

"Yes, well, she's been settling in," Emily says, making no move to invite me in. This is bad. Very bad.

"Do you think she would mind if I surprised her with a visit?" I ask, trying to charm my way past Emily.

"No, I'm sure that is fine," Emily says coolly. "Helena, take Mr. Huntzberger back to the pool house so he can see Miss Gilmore." She turns sharply and walks away.

--------------------

_"Rory," I say quietly. "Why was your grandmother so cold to me when she answered the door and saw me?" I am concerned about her demeanor._

_"Well, probably because I stole a boat with you," she says, stating the obvious._

_"Okay…maybe. But it seemed like something more."_

I step back and put my hand on her cheek, drawing her in for a soft kiss.

"So why haven't you returned any of my calls?" I ask, hoping for some explanation.

"Well, technically, I did return one…"she tries weakly.

"Rory," I say seriously. "Remember, this whole 'relationship' thing has to go both ways."

"I know," she says, her lip starting to tremble. "But I just couldn't bring myself to _feel_ anything. I just need to figure some things out. I just…"

I reach out and wrap my arms around her. These tears, this scenario, seems all too familiar lately. I start to wonder what I may have gotten myself into.

She pulls back and looks at me, her eyes shining. Suddenly I remember a big part of why I got myself into this. I reach over and touch her chin, trying to coax a smile to her lips.

"Ace, do you want to go grab some lunch?" I ask. "It might do you some good to get out of here for a bit. How long has it been since you've gone anywhere?"

"Well, I was in the house this morning for breakfast," she says, her tone giving away a weak attempt at humor.

"Ace."

"You said anywhere."

-------------------

We pick a nice little café for lunch. Lots of choices, good food. After we've been seated, I decide that I have a lot of questions that need answers.

"So if you're not going back to school in the fall, what are you going to do?" I question. "I can't very well see you sitting around doing nothing."

"My grandfather is making some calls to find something 'suitable,'" she sighs, and she is suddenly staring intently at her coffee cup.

"Your grandfather is choosing a job for you?"

"No, he is going to come up with some alternatives for me, and I'll pick amongst them. I'm supposed to start whatever it is tomorrow," she says. She closes her eyes and begins to rub her forehead.

"Are you feeling okay?"

"Yeah, I've just had this headache for a few days and I just can't seem to get rid of it," she responds.

"Anything I can do? Do you want to go home now?"

"No, I'm fine. Let's just eat."

She's almost silent through the entire meal. A few times I lunge at her with verbal punches, but she doesn't even bother trying to parry.

------------------

We walk back toward the pool house, and I decide that I'm going to try to see how far I can push.

"Do you want to talk about it?"

"Not now," she says, shaking her head. "Not yet."

By this point we have reached the door, and I sigh audibly.

"What?" she asks sharply.

"I just wish you'd _talk_ to me," I plead softly, trying to see if I can temper her mood.

"Logan." She breathes my name almost like it's a statement. "I'm not ready to talk – to anyone. I just need some time to figure things out."

"I can respect your needing time to sort things out, but have you interacted with _anyone_ except your grandparents since all this started? Have you talked to your mother about anything since she told you her big news?"

"Stop. Just stop," she says tersely. "You've passed the boundary already. Stop trying to push it."

I drop my head, looking up at her sheepishly. I guess I'm pretty transparent. "Do you blame me?"

"Look, I just need some time. I'll call you once my grandfather and I have talked about things – talked about my job and my plans for the summer."

"And will said call come at a time of day when it is generally assumed that I will actually be awake?" I say, raising my eyebrows toward her.

"I guess I deserved that," she responds, looking at the floor. "I'll call you tomorrow night, that way I can tell you about the job and how the first day went all at once."

I nod as I lean in to give her a quick kiss before leaving. "Oh, Ace," I begin.

"Yeah?"

"No more Steinbeck. Or at least read _Sweet Thursday_ if you can't live without him. I mean, he's brilliant, but not exactly an upper most of the time," I wink as I walk out the door.

------------------

I smooth my hair as I prepare for my next challenge for the day. I walk up to the information desk and ask the attendant, "Can you tell me where to find Richard Gilmore's office, please?"

I gather my courage as she gives me directions to the office. On my way up in the elevator, I plan what I am going to say once I get in there. I hope that he's not as upset about the boat incident as Emily seemed to be – if so, it could all backfire.

As I enter the office, Richard's assistant looks up and asks, "May I help you?"

"I need to see Mr. Gilmore, please."

"Is he expecting you?" she questions, flipping through what appears to be an appointment book.

"No, I'm afraid I decided to drop by at the last minute. I'll understand if he isn't available."

She nods. "Who shall I say is calling?"

"Logan Huntzberger."

She disappears for a few minutes.

I look up as I see her reappear in the office. "Mr. Gilmore is on a conference call and will not be available for some time. Would you like to make an appointment for a meeting at some later date?"

I sigh and rub my forehead for a moment. Looking up and smiling, I say, "No, thank you. I'll wait until he has finished his call."


	6. Continuity

A/N Thanks to **orbit, Conny** and **lilienprinzessin** for the beta

* * *

_Seeing myself this way  
I am a monster I believe  
And seeing is believing  
Is there no doubt left  
When I poison myself  
And poison leaves no appetite  
I sicken myself so much_

Toad the Wet Sprocket – Whatever I Fear

**Emily**

**

* * *

**

**_The morning after D-Day_**

_She turns from the doorway, and I ask slowly "Lorelai, do you love him?"_

_I can see tears welling up in her eyes, and she nods slowly. "More than I ever thought possible," she chokes out._

_I step away from her and offer a single nod as I turn and walk back to the living room._

Richard is still sitting on the couch, staring off into space. He looks up slowly as I enter the room. He says quietly "What do you want to do about it?"

It is clear from his tone that he hopes my answer is nothing. This time, it seems, he gets what he wants.

"Nothing, Richard," I sigh. "She's made her choice."

"Emily," he begins, standing.

"Don't, Richard," I reply, waving him off. "It was a terrible choice, wasn't it? We had to choose between our daughter and our granddaughter. And we'll never get Lorelai back, because the only thing that could have brought her back was Rory."

He takes my shoulders in his hands and looks at me. I can see from the glimmer in his eyes that this is just as difficult for him as it is for me. He takes a deep breath and speaks, "Maybe we should try, nonetheless."

"Try what, Richard?" Is he honestly beginning to see just how important family really is?

"Getting Lorelai back, or the closest we'll ever come to it. She came to us. She told us," he takes my hand in both of his and brings it to his chest. "That has to mean something."

------------------

**_Two Days since D-day_**

Richard and I sit at the table, slowly finishing our dessert. Rory has already retreated to the pool house.

I begin to speak. "She loves him, you know. I think she's just realized it. Do you remember how terrifying it is to be in love when you first realize it, Richard?"

"Yes, Emily. Do you remember how wonderful it is?"

I nod as he says the words. I do remember how wonderful it is. So wonderful that she's willing to brave coming to this house to tell her daughter about her engagement. So wonderful that knowing what we think of him, she is still willing to tell us…

Suddenly an idea dawns on me. "Richard, we have to find a wedding gift for her. We have to find the _perfect_ wedding gift."

He is taken aback for a moment. "Yes, of course. Though I'm afraid I probably won't be of much help choosing," he finishes. I can hear the confusion in his voice but I don't have the patience to deal with it now.

"Good, Richard," I half mumble as I get up from the table and head towards the basement. I have to find that box…

------------------

As I finish the note, I hesitate for a moment, debating the best way to sign it.

She came and told us right away, I remind myself as I sign the note.

As I seal the package, I feel a sense of accomplishment.

"Helena," I call out.

She appears out of nowhere. "Yes, Mrs. Gilmore?"

"Can you make sure this package is mailed first thing tomorrow morning?"

"Yes, Mrs. Gilmore," she says, retreating towards the kitchen. How horribly unnerving, the way she appears out of the blue. I suppose I should call the agency tomorrow and see about a replacement.

------------------

**_Three Days since D-Day_**

_"Helena, take Mr. Huntzberger back to the pool house so he can see Miss Gilmore," I say, turning sharply and walking away._

Not good enough. Who on earth do those people think they are? Not good enough! I never! Their son is the one who is a felon! Philistines. And dragging Rory into the mess. That is just unforgivable. And smiling at me as though he is charming me with that pretty face of his. Little blond hellion.

------------------

As I sit at my desk writing thank you notes for the last DAR fundraiser, I hear a noise coming from the direction of Richard's study.

Out of the blue, he appears in the doorway, looking to and fro like a madman. He begins to wave frantically, and in an exaggerated whisper, he calls to me "Emily!"

"Richard? What on earth are you..."

"Shhh," he whispers, again in that exaggerated tone. "Come here."

I walk into his study, and he quickly closes the door.

"Richard, what are you doing home so early? We weren't expecting to see you for another hour. And why are you whispering and waving your arms like a lunatic?"

"Emily, sit down," he says sharply. "And be quiet, or Rory will hear you, for heaven's sake!"

Who does he think he is, barking orders at me? Something in his eyes, however, tells me to do as he asks.

"What is going on?" I ask.

"Logan Huntzberger came to my office this afternoon," he says in a serious tone.

"What? He was just here earlier today. What did he want?"

"He wanted to offer advice to make sure Rory goes back to school."

I stare at him blankly.

"Do you remember all the things Lorelai told us about how the Huntzbergers treated Rory? How Mitchum destroyed her confidence?"

I nod, less than thrilled with the reminder about what the Huntzbergers _really_ think of us.

"It's all true, apparently. Every bit of it," he continues. "And Logan is convinced that his father is just trying to destroy Rory's confidence so he can destroy their relationship."

Suddenly, I'm gripped with the fear that history is repeating itself. "Richard," I warn, "don't get involved with that boy."

"What are you talking about, Emily?"

"You remember what happened with Jason and Floyd. I'm not going through anything like that again."

"Emily, the situations are completely different."

Stubborn man. I'll bet that hellion stroked Richard's ego – told him what a formidable foe he would make. "How are they different, Richard?"

"Well, first of all, no one is keeping secrets this time."

"And?"

"What do you mean, and?"

"You said first of all, which implies there is more than one reason the situations are different. I would like to know **all** the ways the situations are different, if you don't mind."

"Emily, stop."

"Richard, I don't want to lose her, too. I can't do it. I won't do it," I say, staring into his eyes. I see his fear as clearly as I feel my own.

"We won't. Just listen to me. I think Logan's idea is workable."

--------------------

"Persephone, please clear the dishes from dinner and bring out dessert."

After the dishes are cleared and the maid has left the room, Rory leans toward me, "Grandma, what happened to Helena?"

"Oh, she was horribly unnerving. Whenever I called for her, she would just appear out of thin air. I had the agency send over a replacement this afternoon."

Richard speaks up, "Rory, very soon you will learn that it is much easier not to try and keep up with them. Just try to catch the latest name from your grandmother periodically."

"Richard!"

**------------------**

After dessert has been cleared from the table, Richard turns to Rory. "We should talk about a job for you, young lady."

She looks up at him doe-eyed, and I know he wants to melt and give her everything she wants. But then he glances toward me and is reminded of our conversation about steadfastness.

He clears his throat and begins to speak. "I spoke with my contacts today, and I have four possibilities."

"Yes," she responds.

"First, you could work in my office. You would perform the duties of an intern to begin with, kind of a jack of all trades, until we could determine your strengths and find you a more permanent position. It's nice that you wouldn't have far to go"

Rory nods, "definitely nice."

"And now for the rest! Secondly, I spoke with an acquaintance at the _Boston Globe_ and they have a position for an intern in the accounting department. The big drawback here would be that your commute would be about 2 hours each way – though you could probably catch a train which might make it more bearable. Third, and along the same lines, I spoke to a colleague at the _Hartford Courant_, and they could use an intern in the sales department. Finally…"

Rory's eyes widen as he mentions the first newspaper. When he mentions the second, her shoulders droop, then suddenly she pushes away from the table and stands up.

He trails off as Rory walks out of the dining room and heads toward the pool house.

He looks up at me, "It was too much, wasn't it? I've already pushed too hard."

I stand up to leave the table, "Richard, let me go talk to her. We may have a chance yet."

------------------

I walk up to the doors of the pool house and see Rory curled up on the sofa. I had expected she would be crying, but she is just staring off into space. I wonder for a moment if she has managed to teach herself the numbness that her mother and I have perfected.

I knock quietly on the door, and she raises her head. After a moment, she stands up and walks over to open the door. She silently steps to the side and ushers me inside.

"Why would he do that to me, Grandma?" she asks. I can hear the hurt in her voice. "Why would you do that to me?"

"Rory, your grandfather and I only want what is best for you. And he thought that if you had a chance to work for someone other than that terrible man, you might be able to regain some of your confidence." Of course, this isn't entirely untrue. Once Logan suggested the idea, Richard agreed.

"Grandma, I just can't do it. I don't _want_ to do it," she takes a deep breath, rubbing her temples on both sides. "I guess I'll just work in his office. No commute that way, really." She turns to walk back to the sofa.

"Shall I tell him that, then?"

"Yes, Grandma. Tell him I'll start in the morning."

I turn to walk in the direction of the door, and Rory calls to me again.

"Grandma."

"Yes?'

"Do you know what the fourth job was?"

"Excuse me?"

"The fourth job – Grandpa said there were four jobs."

"Don't worry about it, Rory. You wouldn't have been interested anyway -- it would have been in Boston."

"I'm just curious. What was it?"

I turn to open the door, knowing I won't be able to mask my excitement if I am facing her. "Oh, nothing really. The _Christian Science Monitor_ needs a fact checker."

I step out the door hoping that Richard's faith in Logan is founded – that a dream job will be enough to pull her back to the right path.


	7. Optimism for the Future

A/N Thanks to **orbit** for the beta, and thanks to **Kasia** for letting me steal her line about being in the same page of the same book.

* * *

**Lorelai**

_Two weeks since D-Day_

I laugh as I watch Davey try to "help" take care of Martha. It's a good thing baby wipes are non-toxic…

"So," Sookie asks, "did you and Luke actually talk after the 'miscommunication breakdown?'"

"We did." I smile as I watch Sookie patiently take away the baby wipe and guide Davey's little hand to helping her brush Martha's silky baby hair.

"And…?"

"Well, we're definitely on the same page about things."

Sookie raises her eyebrow questioningly, signaling for me to continue.

"Yes, in the same book, too. Turns out we always were. We were both so afraid we weren't in the same place, we ended up pushing further apart. Ironic, huh?"

"Really?" she asks, not even attempting to hide her surprise.

"Yeah, who would've thought – Luke wants a family." I smile and start to drift off.

I snap myself out of it just in time to see Sookie looking wistfully at me as Davey is about to step on Martha's head. I decide it is probably easiest just to grab him myself, so I jump up quickly, capture him under his arms, and toss him in the air before catching him. He squeals in delight as I put him back down.

I sit back down on the couch, and Davey starts to crawl all over me like I'm a jungle gym.

"So…?" Sookie prods.

"Sooooo? What?"

"Well, when are you going to do all this marrying and baby making and 'middle' stuff?"

"After much discussion, we decided that we would set our wedding date in about a year. We figure there is no reason to rush, and that way we can have everything the way we want. Well, Luke mumbled something about eloping, but he agreed not to hurry so things can be the way I want."

Davey grabs my cheeks and gives me a big, sloppy kiss. I laugh and tickle him. "Looks like Luke's got some competition here. As far as baby making and other 'middle' stuff, we decided that we would sit down and have a long talk right around the time of the wedding."

"Uh-huh."

"What?"

"Well, you do need to think about 'hurrying' a little more there, don't you?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Tick, tick, tick…"

"Sook, I'm not that old. If we start trying in a year or two, I don't think we will have to worry too much," I say, frowning at her.

"A-HA!" she shouts. "You have thought more about it!"

"Yeah, well, maybe the discussion wasn't quite so open-ended," I smile and start to bounce Davey on my knee.

-------------------

I wake up to clanging sounds downstairs. Luke must be making me breakfast. I take a deep breath and think about just how much I like waking up with Luke in the house. I like waking up next to him even more, but let's face it – he gets out of bed too damn early most mornings for that to happen.

I enjoy falling asleep next to him. And I don't like sleeping without him next to me. And he's been here every night for the last couple weeks…

I think I just figured out today's breakfast conversation – how to make sure I don't have to sleep without him any more.

I toss on a pair of pajama pants and walk downstairs to the kitchen. I stand in the doorway for a minute and take in the view.

Luke is standing in the kitchen, towel thrown over his shoulder, cooking breakfast with his shirtsleeves rolled up to his elbows. He looks up at me and smiles. He motions toward the table, and I notice that he's already poured me a cup of coffee. He really is the _perfect_ man.

"How do you want your eggs?"

I contemplate for a moment. "Over-easy. I'm in a runny yolk kind of mood this morning."

I sit at the table for a few minutes, breathing in my coffee and sipping slowly while staring off into space.

Luke comes over and sets my plate in front of me, placing a bowl of oatmeal down for himself as he joins me for breakfast.

"You haven't eaten yet?" I ask, chewing on a piece of bacon.

"I slept a bit late. Someone kept me up half the damn night."

I smile at him and we continue eating our breakfast in silence. Every few moments, Luke glances at me suspiciously.

"Why are you so quiet this morning?"

"Just thinking," I mumble, hoping to buy myself a few more minutes before I bring up the topic for the day.

"About?"

Or maybe I don't get a few more minutes…

"About us." I take a deep breath, knowing that I'm going to have to continue right away. Silence won't cut it after that statement.

He raises his eyebrow, signaling for me to continue.

"What is with the eyebrow raising? I mean, yesterday I was talking to Sookie about some things, and she did the same thing. Am I that easy to read?"

"Yes," he says impatiently.

"Okay, okay, I'm sorry. Luke, you know that I love you, right?"

"Yes."

"And you know that I want to spend the rest of my life with you?"

"Yes," he says, his voice a mix of irritation and curiosity.

"And I'm incredibly happy we've decided we should get married next year. By the way, I've decided that the wedding should be in either May or July, because that way we won't loose a perfectly good _paying_ wedding at the Inn in June."

"Lorelai."

"What?"

"You're rambling."

"We should move in together." There, I said it.

Luke is quiet. Very quiet. He takes a sip of his juice and eyes me. It bothers me that I can't figure out what he is thinking.

"Are you sure?" he asks, smiling, "I was hoping we would have this discussion soon."

-------------------

As I go through the mail for the day, I notice a letter for Lorelai Leigh Gilmore from the courts of Fairfield County. I sigh, remembering that her court appearance is Friday the 3rd.

I guess I should call her. It has been a week. She did call to tell me about the new job, and I shouldn't wait to tell her about Luke moving in.

I grab the phone and call her cell. When she answers, I say in my best cheery voice, "Hey, kid."

"Hi Mom. What's going on?" Dammit, she's talking in her best cheery voice, too. She must have checked the caller ID. I guess we'll _both_ pretend everything is normal.

"Hey, got a letter here for you from the Fairfield County Court. Do you want me to open it?"

"Yeah, go ahead. I'm guessing it's a reminder. Grandpa's lawyer said they would send one."

"Well, Grandpa's lawyer must know his stuff, 'cause that's exactly what it is."

"Was that all you wanted?" she asks. I can tell she is straining to feign that this is a pleasant conversation.

"Uh…How's the new job?"

"Very different than I had expected, but I've really been enjoying it. It is a lot of work."

"Good, that's good," I say, keeping the pretense of being upbeat. I still can't believe she actually took i that /i job.

"Anything else?"

"Well, actually there is one thing you should be aware of."

"What's that?"

I suck in a breath before plodding forward, "Luke and I talked about it this morning, and he's going to be moving into the house soon."

"Really?" she says, not sounding very surprised.

"Yes. We decided it is time. And it would make planning the wedding easier."

"That's great, Mom. Look, I have to go. Grandma and Grandpa are waiting for me for dinner. I'll see you Friday morning."

"Okay, see you Friday," I mumble, hanging up the phone. You can't really call what we've been doing communicating, but I guess passing back and forth pieces of information is better than nothing. I toss the letter in the trash with a heavy heart.

-----------------

As I sit at the counter removing the salad from my burger, Luke walks by and smiles at me.

"Hey," he says cheerfully, touching my shoulder on his way by.

"Hey," I mutter, continuing to pick at my burger.

"Well that was enthusiastic."

"Sorry. I had to call Rory earlier and…."

"She didn't take it well?" he asks, his voice laden with concern.

"Oh, hon, no. She took it fine. She just wasn't particularly chatty."

He eyes me suspiciously, but apparently decides it isn't worth prying – here, at the counter in the diner. "Okay. Hey, did you ever call Mike Armstrong and to tell him what you decided?"

"No, that's on my agenda for this afternoon."

"What are you going to tell him?"

"The same thing I told you, Luke. I'm not selling the Inn." I smile as I remember our discussion and Luke's insistence on compromise.

------------------

"Mike Armstrong please. Lorelai Gilmore. Sure, I'll hold."

I tap a pen on my desk as I wait for him to pick up the phone.

"Hi Mike. I'm doing fine, how are you? Yes, actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about."

"Sookie and I have decided that we're not interested in selling the inn right now. It's our baby – and it's only a year old."

"Well, that's very nice of you. Consulting? Well, maybe on a limited basis. Oh, 2-3 projects a year might be workable."


	8. Borrowed Happiness

** Rory **

_Please come to Boston for the springtime_

_I'm stayin' here with some friends and they've got lots of room_

_You can sell your paintings on the sidewalk_

_By a café where I hope to be workin' soon_

_Please come to Boston_

_She said no, would you come home to me_

David Loggins – Please Come to Boston

* * *

_Early June_

"Thanks for letting me stay on such short notice, Dad," I say slowly. We haven't exactly mended our relationship, but I guess we're about to start.

"No problem, Rory. I'll do anything I can to help you," Dad says purposely. "Good thing Gigi and I have an extra room, huh?"

"Yeah," I mumble, rubbing my forehead in an attempt to ease the tension from my now ever-present headache.

"Well, we'll leave you alone to let you get settled."

"Dad." I pause to gather my thoughts. "Thank you."

Dad nods as he takes Gigi by the hand and walks down the hallway toward the living room.

I hang my bag in the closet and start to put the clothes away. For a moment, I wonder if I've made the right choice, taking a job in the field I thought I would abandon.

I'm sure it's useless, but I had to give it one last try. And Grandpa managed to get me the opportunity, so I couldn't let it pass. Hell, if I've lost control of my life, it won't make a difference anyway.

Once I've finished putting all the clothes away, I make my way to the living room where Dad is building something on the floor with Gigi. I stand back and watch for a minute, jealous of the scene in front of me. For a moment, I remember all the times Dad would send me presents and big fancy gifts. And I remember that I would have preferred five minutes with him to any of those gifts. I step forward into the room and let out a sigh.

"Hey, Rory. You all unpacked?" Dad asks cheerfully. For good measure, Gigi throws a wave in my direction. I smile a little in spite of myself.

"Yeah, I did. Thanks, Dad."

"So, you said that tomorrow you'll go get oriented around the office, then you have to go back to your grandparents in the evening, right?" As he is talking, Dad puts a DVD in for Gigi to watch.

I nod. "I have to be in Bridgeport Friday for my hearing," I say, looking at the floor.

"Yeah. What did your Grandfather's lawyer say about that?"

"No big deal, really. We'll plea it down to a misdemeanor, and the judge will almost certainly give me community service and make me pay restitution," I wring my hands a bit as I force out the likely scenario. I wish I was back at my grandparents' where I didn't have to talk about any of this.

I realize Dad is waiting for me to continue. "So, uh, since I have no prior record, once I've completed the community service that should pretty much be the end of that."

"What about the restitution?" Dad asks, sighing.

"I've talked with Grandma and Grandpa, and they'll loan me the money to pay. Then, when I have a full-time job, I'll pay them back for college and the restitution money at once."

"Rory."

"What?"

"Don't you think you're becoming awfully indebted to your grandparents?"

"What?" I snap.

"You're just giving them a lot of control over your life, kid. Be careful," he says in a not-quite-identifiable tone.

I stop for a minute and take several deep breaths. It does nothing to calm me down. All those years, he made almost no attempt to be a part of my life. Now he wants to help me sort through things. It's not as though I needed him anyway. Mom always had everything under control.

"What on earth are you talking about?" I blurt out. "I've never had control over my own life anyway."

"What? Rory, no…"

"Don't 'Rory, no' me. Before it was just Mom controlling my life. All I did was shift it. It's not like my opinion matters to any of them, anyway."

"Rory, slow down," Dad says, taking me by the arm and leading me away from Gigi and the living room.

"No. It doesn't matter. All Mom ever cared about was making sure I don't end up like her. Well, that's all Grandma and Grandpa care about, too. No one wants me to end up like my mother. So it doesn't make a difference, they're going to be sure I don't, one way or another!"

"Rory, what are you talking about?"

"I think I was quite clear. Everyone should be happy as long as I don't turn out like Mom," I say, moving closer to the end of the hallway, trying desperately not to cry.

"Rory, stop!" Dad says, looking exasperated. "Your mother isn't afraid that you are going to turn into her."

"What?"

"Rory, she's afraid you're going to turn out like me."

"What?" I repeat. I want to sit down. I need to sit down. I move back toward the living room and collapse onto the couch.

Dad continues, "Rory, would it be so bad if your life turned out like your mother's?"

I stare blankly at him, unsure of what to say.

"Look kid, you are past the point in life where she worried you'd _really _end up like her. At this point, you can only really emulate the good on her side."

"But why is she so intent on interfering with my choices, then?"

"Because aimlessness doesn't suit you. It's not your choices she's worried about, it's your lack of choices," Dad finishes seriously.

I sink to the couch and start to cry. The headache that has become a mainstay begins to pound even more severely. I wish I could be what they want me to be. I wish I could be what I want me to be. How can Mom always be so sure of things when I'm always full of doubt?

Dad sits on one side of me and tries to soothe me by wrapping his arm around me. I lean in, hoping that he can magically make the hurt disappear. A minute later, Gigi leaves her video to come over and pat me on the arm.

* * *

Later in the evening, after Gigi has been put to bed, Dad and I are finishing a late dinner of take-out pizza.

Dad starts to speak slowly "Look, Rory, I know I've never been the model of…well…anything, but you know that we all just want you to be happy, right?"

"Yeah, Dad. But I wish everyone would let me make my own decisions, too."

He takes a deep breath and begins, "Well, kid, from what I can tell, you are making your own decisions. Your grandparents aren't happy that you're staying here. And I gotta tell you I'm not thrilled with your decision to take time off from school, and neither is your mother."

I quickly look up. "What?"

"What?"

"You said something about Mom…"

"Uh, yeah. Well, I assume that she isn't happy about it. I mean, I'm not," he stammers, refusing to look me in the eye.

"Dad."

"What?"

"Stay away from her," I say, making no attempt to hide the edge to my voice. More trouble from Dad is the last thing she needs in her life.

"Rory…"

"No, Dad. You've screwed her life up for the last time. No more!"

"Rory, stop!" he says with more force than I had expected. "Just stop. Your mother is engaged, and Luke is moving in with her."

"How do you know about that?"

"Because I went to see them. I went to see them to find out what the hell was going on with you after you sent me that email. I saw the ring."

"How do you know about him moving in? I _just_ found out about it!"

"Because after you called to ask if you could stay here for the job, I called your mother and told her you would be here. And she said something about Luke moving in," he finishes, suddenly looking very tired. "She's moved on. It's over."

"He makes her happy, Dad," I say, beginning to calm down.

"I know he does. And I know he will," he stands up and walks away from the table, saying, "Look, I'm pretty tired, and I still have to do a little cleanup in the kitchen before I go to bed. We'll talk more in the morning, kiddo."

I'm a bit surprised by his abrupt exit, but I'm too tired to push any more tonight. As I watch him walk toward the kitchen, I'm a bit bewildered that I feel sorry for him. All those years I watched Mom, with her hoping he'd come around. After all the tries and all the hurt, things never did work out for the two of them. I guess I never imagined he might have been wishing for the same thing she was. And now he has to watch her have it with someone else.

* * *

As I enter the kitchen to pour my coffee before I leave for my first day at the office, I notice a note next to the coffee maker.

_Hey kiddo,_

_Forgot to mention that I needed to leave early this morning because of a project at the office. Sorry I'm missing your excitement this morning. I wish you all the best of luck (as if you'll need it)._

_I'll see you when you come back this weekend._

_And Rory, call your mother tonight to tell her about your first day at work. It would mean the world to her._

_Love,_

_Dadi_

I smile at the sentiment behind the note, wondering at the same time if the real reason he left early was to avoid talking to me.

* * *

Finally, at 12:30, I get to stop for a few minutes and have a break. I guess today's lunch will be vending machine fare. Disgusting, cheap, and filling. My favorite kind of food.

I pick up my phone and notice that Logan called, though he didn't leave a message. I pick up the phone to call him back and tell him about my first morning on the job, but it rings before I can dial the number.

"Hello?"

"Hey Ace. How's the morning going?"

"Hey there. Pretty good. No major mishaps or embarrassments."

"Nose to the grindstone, huh?"

"Yeah, pretty much. This is the first break I've had today, and I get an entire 15 minutes. So many things to do."

"Good."

"Good?"

"Yeah, you tend to get into trouble when you're aimless."

"What?" I ask, bemused by his making light of our situation before we've even been sentenced.

"You know what I'm talking about – I'm not going to repeat myself," he says with sarcasm dripping from his voice. "When are you headed back to the grandparents?"

"Tonight," I answer, thinking about the dreaded drive. "Gotta be there for our hearing in the morning, even though it can't help my case to be associated with a felon."

"Yeah, but Dad's lawyer says it really didn't matter whether they severed our hearings or not."

"And Grandpa's lawyer agreed. Anyway, will I see you some time this weekend, other than the hearing?"

"Well, I'm not sure about that," Logan says with a sardonic edge. "I still have to seek retribution for your having ignored me for days."

I smile, thinking about the patience he showed dealing with my stubbornness. "Why don't we plan to have dinner Saturday night, and leave the rest of the night open to see where it takes us?" I suggest, smiling.

"Sounds like a plan to me," he answers. "See you tomorrow morning. Call me tonight and tell me about the rest of your day if you want."

"We'll see," I answer. "Bye, Logan."

"Bye, Ace."

* * *

By the time I get back to the pool house, it is close to 9:30. I do a quick check-in with Grandma and Grandpa to let them know I've arrived.

Then I head out to the pool house. I pick up my phone and debate whether I have the energy required to make a phone call. After hesitating, I pick up the phone and hit the speed dial. After four rings, the voice mail picks up. I listen to the message, chewing my lip in hopes my resolve won't fail.

Once the tone sounds, I start to speak, "Hi, Mom. Just thought I'd call and let you know that my first day at the _Monitor_ went well. They kept me incredibly busy. Anyway, I just thought I'd check in before the hearing tomorrow. We never actually talked about whether you'd be there or not. Okay, I'm going to go now. Bye."

I exhale slowly as I hang up the phone. As I walk into the bathroom to get ready for bed, I notice that for the first time in weeks, my headache seems to have subsided somewhat.


End file.
